2020 - What a year. Thank You!
When I look back to the last 12 months, I am at peace with whatever life had to offer me.
Last year, during this time, I had just ended my month-long trip. As usual, my bank balance was on reserve, my father was very excited to know about my Leh trip and my mother was busy sharing my trip pictures on her WhatsApp stories.
Random throwback picture from the trip.
Meanwhile, I listed down five priorities for 2020.
Find work so that I start taking my divorce seriously and settle it. I was the asshole in my marriage. Also accepting that I fucked it does not make me a saint.
Healthy mind and body.
Keep reading and writing.
Remove all the negativity from life - people and things that bring anxiety.
And be a slightly better human being. Basically a less asshole.
And then the pandemic hit us.
Everyone has lost someone or something.
If not anything then definitely we lost peace. Everyone has dealt with 2020 in their own way. I am no one to judge or be a critique and analyse 2020 or list down what I have lost in 2020. I look around and my grief is minuscule in front of the others.
I just have one word for 2020 - Thank You!
I am serious. 2020 provided a handful of things from work to friends and most importantly it realised me being privileged. I was somehow able to hold my above list. I failed multiple times, sulked in days inside me but eventually I pushed myself while holding my sanity.
I made mistakes but also made sure to say “Sorry.”
2020 ripped all my fears and insecurities.
When I look back to the last 12 months, I am at peace with whatever life had to offer me.
Just two weeks ago my father told me that he is proud of how I have transformed my life from being an alcoholic to having a disciplined life. He has seen me going through all the ups and downs in life and stood by me like a rock.
On that note, I also want to Thank You - you have motivated me to write. I might have failed at times, my grammar might be questionable but every story this year I have written I have done with love and effort. None became viral 😒 and my email list stands at 155 🙈😝 but I consider that my writing this year is who I am.
I am not the best or an expert but I put an effort to give value and I wish to do the same in 2021. Thank you for reading my frustrations and cuss words. But at any point, if my thoughts have hurt you then please keep in mind that it was unintentional and “I am sorry.” 🙏😊
I will see you in 2021 with some more stories 🎉🙌
I wish you that you have a happy and peaceful remaining of 2020. For your 2021 I wish that you find ample peace, happiness, and whatever you are working on go ahead and achieve it. May you and your loved ones be in the best health and mental space to work on their life.
However, I don’t have a 2021 resolution list.
2020 taught me that as human beings we are just puppets in front of life. We can plan the next year and then the next moment we are no more because life has decided to end our show. It is funny to realise that somehow we don’t have control of our life. And is it really our life when we have no control over it?
That’s why this happens to be my favorite quote/thought:
“We can’t control what happens in our life but we can definitely control how we react to it.”
Not easy but do we have an option.
I will keep pushing myself to be a better person with zero expectations from the new year and life.
Thank you and stay safe ♥️
PN.