This isn’t a tribute to late Sushant Singh Rajput.
This isn’t a post passing judgment on those who decide to end their life.
This isn’t a post enlightening the world on how to keep fighting.
This isn’t a post about telling the world that please speak to me and I will listen to you.
This isn’t a post about how easy it is to understand the fake social media RIP posts.
Then why am I even writing this? Because I am fed up with people, their lies, their faces covered beneath those Instagram filters trying to catch up with everything. The day when news came out. It hit me for a while. Later the senseless social media madness from people just made me uninstall Instagram and LinkedIn from my mobile.
Everyone was a depression pundit and were posting updates asking people to come forward and open their hearts. Do these people even read what they write?
Pain is a personal thing and we all have to go through it. You just can’t open up with any random stranger on the internet.
I am an introvert or I am an extrovert with someone whom I have a frequency match. I have a school friend with whom I talk once or twice a week. And I just open up 20-30% that’s it. Reasons:
I know so many thoughts he won’t connect
Since he cares about me he will share his opinion or judge me
So it is better to be quiet and talk about things he will connect
This is the reason why we go to a Psychiatrist. She listens to you without judging you. Nobody in my family knows that I have been taking help for a year now. There was a time in my life when I realised I needed help. My family thinks that mental illness or depression is a disease for Bollywood people. I can’t blame them.
It is rare to have someone who will listen to you.
What is the biggest problem in the world? Nobody understands me. And even if someone is ready to listen to you it will be for five or ten minutes. Because we all want someone to unconditionally listen without judging. Utopian dream, isn’t it?
There was a time in my life when I would beg people to talk to me. I desperately wanted someone to love me, care for me, and listen to me. But after two years of pain, struggle, crying, drinking, giving up on life I realised that I can’t chase for love. I can try to be a better version of myself. Today at times I wish I had someone whom I can talk nonsense for hours and listen to her madness too. But I am at peace and I don’t find reasons to make new friends or connect on a personal level.
I try to be in the present that way I keep my depression(past) and anxiety(future) away. (All this gyan is from my best book of 2020 so far - The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.)
There was a time when I would go on non stop talking to my Psychiatrist and get disappointed that 60 minutes is over. A year later, my psychiatrist has advised me to meet every three weeks. Today I don’t have anything to tell or talk with him. I am bored and I no more feel the urge to talk. I am mastering the art of sitting quietly, observing myself, and doing nothing. And the rest of the time I have a few things that give me peace.
So my dear depression champions stop copy-pasting status messages that we are in it together for depression, let’s talk. Rather than being the Osho of social media, please first listen to your wife, parents, and kids without judging them and touching your mobile phone.
Everyone has a story and no one else can understand the pain. We all have to go through it. Some make it and some can’t. So please stop judging. If someone has given up on life, trust me it won’t be a random decision. Nobody gets up and decides to hang himself. Maybe this was the way written for him to leave the body. Was that peaceful? Even his close friends and people had no clue. We won’t know what was the reason so stop judging and spreading theories.
Sometimes I feel, our parents had a better-disciplined life. No mobile phones and no social media.
“To be nobody-but-yourself — in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else — means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting. ~ E.E. Cummings”
8 weeks ago Sushant wrote on his Instagram. He was craving for his mother and he is with her.
If you are still with me then thank you!
This week I wrote three stories trying to educate myself about the Online Fundraising world and it has kept me excited.
Google provides 7L/month as ad grants to Nonprofit organizations. You should not miss it and here is how you can apply and a few things to keep in mind.
Email engagement practices are lagging behind. “A little over half of the nonprofits are implementing email re-engagement campaigns, although they are often waiting too long to do them,” says the 2020 Nonprofit Communications Trends report. I have my learnings and insights for you.
Finally, I liked Oxfam India’s Truth About Tea campaign for Assam tea workers especially with the lockdowns and COVID19 mayhem. But the donation process is confusing, especially the recurring donation.
Thank You for reading my stories.
Once upon a time I wanted to change the world. Today I want to change myself. So that the day I leave this world, I want a few people to remember me of being an okay human being.
Don’t judge. We all have our stories and pain. We all are alone in our battles.
May peace be with you ♥️