What is love? Can you define it? I would love to read.
I have always been intrigued by this four-letter word and the meaning has changed over the course of time. What love was for me when I wrote the first love letter with a fountain pen and what it is now when love is about swiping, fascinates me. However, the majority of learned gurus and observers have failed to define love.
In the book The Road Less Travelled - Dr M. Scott Peck defines love: “The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” Basically, if you are not helping your partner grow personally and professionally then you need to sit down with yourself.
Love is effortful, and not effortless.
All my life I was told it is effortless but take a deeper look love is about caring, standing there, and listening with an open mind. There are more layers to love (I highly recommend the book “The Road Less Travelled”)but most importantly it requires a lot of effort and patience. Sex therapist Dr Suzanne Iasenza describes a relationship as another child in a recent conversation with Shane Parish.
You don’t have one child, you have two. You have your child named Mary and then you have a marital relationship to still nurture. And people don’t get that a relationship has to be nurtured. You have to water it like a plant. It isn’t just to be taken for granted.
She stresses about listening and how in couples, when a partner is starting to say things that trigger us, some people have to have the retort ready. “Even if they don’t interrupt, some people just interrupt and shut up the partner or talk over them or start yelling or fighting.”
Kate Murphy frames it nicely - “What is love if not a willingness to listen to and be a part of another person’s evolving story? A lack of listening is a primary contributor to feelings of loneliness.”
And technology doesn’t help. “Technology magnifies the closeness-communication bias because you have less information to work with,” said Dr. Epley, referring to the brevity of texts and absence of cues like tone of voice and body language.
So if you say you love someone then make sure you spend some time listening and talking with that person. And please shut the phone during this period. The world would still be a better place if you are not online during that period.
And please don’t think I am a love guru. I am a man made of mistakes and have been a miserable moron in all my relationships. But I am working on it. I also think - “With immense fuck ups, comes clarity and thereby understanding of Rumi.” 🙈😂
After all that love gyaan now time for my weekly roundup of stories. This week I shared two stories. First of all my apologies, I have not done enough but I am not getting lazy. I have spent some time thinking about the kind of stories I shouldn’t do. I don’t want to spam but give value to your time. Hopefully, you will see my effort.
This is the health insurance season and HDFC Life is running its Bounce Back to Success campaign where the emphasis is on empowering the loved ones with different adversities in life.
Marketers won’t love me with this story. The more reports I analyze the only thing I witness is how bad the advertising market has been. 2020 will witness muted ad spends and GroupM TYNY 2020 report makes it evident.
That’s all for this week, spend time with your loved one and yourself.
By the way, Happy Valentine’s Day. If you are single then I wish that you find your love soon and if you are in love then please respect and make the effort.
“Don’t ask what she does ask what you can do more.”
Peace and happiness ❤️