30th May is my father Nilkanta Naidu’s birthday.
He turns 69 tomorrow.
I will say - “Naidu sir janam din mubarak ho.” He will smile and will reply - “Umar ho raha hai yaar, kahe ka janam din.”
Just that this year I won’t be able to touch his feet and he wouldn’t stop it to hug me.
It’s been more than 5 months since he transformed into a picture. I wonder the realisation that he is no more still haunts me every day. Merely the tears have dried up, but the pain of not having him around and watching my back at times is intolerable.
Sometimes I wonder life could have been less miserable. It took the only thing that was attached to me.
But then do I have a choice? As they say, drink the pain and accept the fucking reality while keeping a smile.
Well on the bright side I have nothing to lose anyone and any more.
Anyways on this occasion, I have an audio message. Sorry if you don’t understand Hindi, the conversation is a mix of both Hindi and English. Please don’t cuss me for the quality of the audio because I have no intention to start a Podcast :)
I will end with one of my dad’s favorite thought:
“Work hard and with honesty. Don’t think of rewards, they will happen when they are supposed to happen.”
Go grab your loved ones and enjoy your weekend.
By the way, this is proof that dad and I look pretty similar. He at the ripe age of 24 and I am trying to look cool at 42 by taking gym selfies :)
Love,
PN.