Last week an old acquaintance connected with me on LinkedIn. In the process of connection, she shared an 11-year-old YouTube video that has me talking about my startup.
Initially, I closed the video in the first 2 seconds. However, after some pondering, I watched the video twice. I love the idiot-like innocence of proving myself and the smile that I can create my own destiny.
11 years later on a Sunday morning, I am sitting in Bangalore, smiling at life and still writing a blog. Life has changed quite a bit. However, the first silent thought was: “Congrats PN you have survived.” A small thank you to the universe that I am still alive in this beautiful world.
And then I started revisiting the life and learnings from the last 11 years. Call it a small ode or my learnings.
Acceptance
Buddha said long back - “Life is full of misery.” Good days will evaporate fast but bad days will stand long enough to test. I don’t have control over my good or bad days. The only thing that I can control is how I react to situations. So I started accepting life as it is. Good and bad are perspectives of the mind.
We don’t have a choice other than accepting. Acceptance doesn’t mean that you stop living and sulk for the rest of your life. Acceptance is getting on with life with whatever the situation is rather than cribbing about it.
My life looked far more rosy when I looked around and saw the lives of others.
Finding my true self
I wanted to create a dent in the moon when I was running my startup. I wanted to change the world. In other words, I wanted to be known and popular. And not for once I looked into myself. I was far away from my true self and trying to be the person I was not.
Today closing my eyes, and sitting with myself is the most challenging activity but also the most satisfying one.
It also made me realise that I am not the doer. My job is to act upon my responsibilities and act with all honesty be it personal or professional.
Earlier I would go crazy about finding my purpose in life. The purpose now is:
“Live in the moment and do things without any doership or ego.”
The present is what I have
The mind loves to jump into the past or future. For the mind, there is no present since it is scary. I have been a victim of mind games. The past is gone and the future is uncertain. So the only thing is now and that’s why it is called present.
It can be painful but that’s life, right? When I started living in the present, acceptance became less painful.
Personal vs. professional life
11 years ago I would say professional life is important since a man is known for the work he does. Now I would just laugh at the statement and say no one cares. Life is too short for such egoistic statements.
Personal life comes first. If you are personally not satisfied or happy then you can’t perform in your professional life.
Also, you are not known for your work but for your relations. When everything went for a toss in my professional and personal life; my family was there for me.
Money is essential but not at the cost of relationships or family.
Love
In the last few years, the definition of love has changed drastically. More than passion, love is compassion. Rather than asking what I am getting, I ask what I am giving. And it is for any form of relationship.
Love also means expecting the best for the other person irrespective of what you achieve from it.
Death
Death is the ultimate truth of life. It makes you understand that you are nothing and the very next moment you can be just a piece of meat.
Other than grief death has also made me question many things in my life. Words can’t justify my father’s loss. Over time I have accepted that he is not physically present in my life. But he is still my father and he is in me. I am from him. It has given me the strength to continue living in the best possible way.
While my father was alive he would always wish the best for me and when he passed away he made sure that I gained significant learnings from his death and became a better human being.
All I want to be is just the 5% of my father - simple, smiling, following a routine, and doing things with honesty while leaving results to the almighty.
Health
When I say health it is mental and physical. Both require an equal amount of focus. If it means going to a therapist then so be it. Initially, I was ashamed of meeting a therapist and made fun of it but I reached a point when I accepted that I needed professional help. I realized most of my problems are linked to my childhood. Realising and accepting them has changed my life.
Physical health is not only about going to the gym or doing a sport but what goes into your tummy. I would say I have learned to be watchful of what I eat but I don’t starve myself. And I have stopped performing physical activities for social media. For instance, I run for myself and to find my endurance level.
Impermanence
Impermanence/impermanent is a universal phenomenon. When life itself is not permanent and can change anytime then what can we say about all other things in life? Everything is bound to change since nothing is permanent not even people, relationships, money, etc. So what is the point in getting attached and holding on to things?
11 years ago I wanted to do too many exciting things, try to prove myself, chase for things, and people, and finally care less about my people. Today I find peace in following the routine of doing the same things.
And the work of my finding myself continues 🙂
"In accordance with the prarabdha (destiny) of each, the One whose function it is to ordain makes each to act.
What will not happen will never happen, whatever effort one may put forth.
And what will happen will not fail to happen, however, much one may seek to prevent it. This is certain.
The part of wisdom therefore is to stay quiet" - Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi